Why Do Boyfriends And Girlfriends Fight?

06 Oct 2018 09:19

Back to list of posts

It took me a long time to come up with the answer to the question "Why Do Boyfriends and Girlfriends Fight?" Finally, I received inspiration from my past. When I was 5, my parents fought a lot. Being young and rather hot-headed, they used to shout at each other at home or in the car. As a child, their fighting scared me. But when I became an adult, I realized that the reason the both of them fought so hard, was because they were doing their best to be understood.

Every human being feels the deep need to be understood - especially by the people who matter to them. Since your boyfriend/girlfriend is important to you, the two of you fight because each person wants to be understood, but lack the skills to communicate effectively with each other.

But how can my communication skills be lacking if I get along well with my friends and/or family members?

Even if you have awesome relationships with the other people in your life, think about this: How long you have known your family? Is your boyfriend/girlfriend your friend or your partner? Since your boyfriend/girlfriend and you come from different backgrounds, it is inevitable that the both of you will have differing views about things. If the subject where your views differs never comes up, there is no reason for the both of you to fight and disagree. But the longer you know your boyfriend/girlfriend, the more there will be opportunities to disagree.

So when an event arises for the both of you to disagree, how do you go about interacting so that you don't end up fighting?

The easiest way I've found to have harmony (after years of fighting with my boyfriend and family) is to do my best to UNDERSTAND the other person first. When I am given the choice to explain myself, or to understand my boyfriend, I choose to understand him better. The way I do this, is to read more about men. The reason I choose to understand men better through reading, is because it gives me the results I want: A more loving, harmonious relationship with my boyfriend. Each time I understand men more, not only does my heart open more towards my boyfriend, he also appreciates how much easier it is to be with me. As a result, he cherishes me more and gives even more to me. This makes both of us happy.

Don't make the mistake of asking your boyfriend to explain himself to you.

There are モラハラ  for this…

1. Most men really cannot explain why they behave the way they do.

2. Most men feel you don't trust them when you ask them to explain their behaviours to you.

I used to ask my (ex) boyfriends lots of questions. They hated this and we often ended up fighting. Hence, I highly recommend you read and learn more from relationship experts instead. Avoid irritating your boyfriend with too many questions because too much fighting often leads to break ups.

Are you confused by a man's actions and words?

Comments: 0

Add a New Comment

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License